BRISTOL LIVE - Hartcliffe singer signs with record label to empower domestic abuse survivors

Kirstie.V has been singing since she was four years old - but during the years of abuse she suffered from an ex partner, she gave up on her passion and lost all confidence.

Now that she is single and in a much better place in her life, she wants to use the platform her music has given her to help women who are still experiencing domestic abuse. She is currently recording the last three tracks on her second album, which is all about relationships and her personal experiences of domestic abuse.

The album 'I Am Woman' will be released this summer with Ultrawave Records. It is “all for women to just feel empowered and know that they don’t have to be in those relationships,” said Kirstie.

Kirstie will be donating all the profits generated from the new album to the charity Women’s Aid. Although she said she is very grateful for Next Link, which gave her the support and advice to enable her to leave her ex-partner, after researching several charities she decided to go with Women’s Aid because they also support children.

As a mother of two children herself, she believes that support for children who have had to suffer the effects of domestic abuse is important. She said: “I’m using my album as a platform to raise awareness of domestic abuse.

“While I was in that [abusive] relationship, I completely stopped music and it knocked my confidence, I wasn’t doing the things that I enjoyed. That relationship came to an end after a lot of support from domestic abuse services.

“I thank Next Link for all the advice and support they gave me but I chose Women’s Aid because they specifically help women and children. I’ve been given so much from Next Link and all the services that I just want to keep giving back - especially now that I have knowledge and understanding, I want to share that with everyone else to help other people.”

Kirstie recorded her first album in 2018, which she did independently, and donated all the album proceeds to the mental health charity Mind. She wanted to support the mental health charity after seeing how domestic abuse had damaged her mental health and that of women around her who had gone through similar experiences.

She said that writing lyrics has been a great release for her and has helped her “massively” in overcoming the traumatic experience of being in emotionally abusive relationships. She has also had feedback from family and friends who have connected emotionally to her songs, with one friend even saying that she was moved to tears after listening to one of her tracks.

Her mum has told her that the music is very “relatable” but questions why she isn’t using it to make money for herself. For Kirstie, the music is for love and has never been about making money.

She said: “It’s not about making anything for myself, it’s never been about making money. I’m now stronger in myself, comfortable in my finances - it’s not about that, it’s all about doing what I enjoy, it makes me happy.

“I’ve never felt so secure within myself and I want to use my music in a really positive way that people can connect with."

She hopes the platform that music has given her will not only allow her to help women through her charity donations and lyrics that resonate with women who have experienced domestic abuse but also give her the chance to raise awareness.

Kirstie feels that her experiences and the subsequent advice she was given from domestic abuse services has enabled her to be able to recognise the signs of abuse, which are often under the radar as they could be subtle or not recognised by the person in the abusive relationship.

She said talking to Next Link was reassuring for her because it helped her to understand that what she was experiencing was abuse and it wasn’t all in her head: “A lot of the time it’s not physical, I didn’t go through that, it was more the narcissistic behaviour, the manipulation that makes you feel like you’re going crazy.

“Sometimes it could just be a passing comment, telling you what to wear or asking you to dye your hair but over a period of time it really impacts your mental health, I’ve seen it with friends too.

“When friends mention things it’s easy to jump back and say, ‘you know this is wrong’, I feel quite defensive and protective over friends and family because I’ve been through it.

“Women shouldn’t feel worried or like it’s a weakness to go to Next Link or Women’s Aid because it was the best thing that I ever did and I wouldn’t be doing music now if I didn’t leave behind those negative relationships.

“It’s really difficult to see it when you’re in it, there are so many different women right now going through things that they think they have to put up with for the family lifestyle or for the children.

“The most heard sentence is, ‘it’s not that bad,’ but when you go through what they’ve actually told you and what is actually happening, it is really bad.

“I think we can massively misinterpret the difference between control and love, their partners make them believe that they need them and won’t find anyone else.

“My music and my album was more to say, you don’t need them, you can survive without them.”