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'Best Community Contribution'
November's Event - Fri 21st
Kirsty Hicks
26 Apr 2025
"I gave him too many chances hoping he would change, but he didn't."
Bristol woman of Whitchurch urges other women to speak up more about the abuse they go through.
Speaking to Girls Allowed, she said; ' I met my ex in 2020 online during Covid, we met the first time in a pub for a drink, he seemed really nice, he sold me the dream man, said he's never cheated, never hurt a woman, not abusive."
"The night went well and we decided to arrange another date. We met a week later everything went well. For the first 4 months things were going well, he would stay over at mine a lot and moved into my house really quickly. He lived with me and my two children. Things went well to start with, but as Covid restrictions were being lifted his true colours started to show."
"He would be fine all week, but every weekend his idea of fun would be to get drunk which wasnt what i liked to do. When he was drinking he would get verbally and physically abusive towards me."
"He would body shame me, call me fat, ugly."
"If i didn't want to drink with him he would start on me, call me boring and he would go out and find someone who's exciting and who wants to get drunk every weekend, he would force me to drink with him on the weekend.
I used to dread the weekends as i knew that was when the abuse would start. I would be verbally and physically abused every weekend. It became physical where he would push me, strangle me."
"He stabbed me in the leg several times with a metal cork scew and thought it was funny"
"He would stay out drinking and then call me in the early hours of the morning to drive 40 minutes to pick him up, he would get really nasty with me. I couldn't speak to him in person about how i was feeling as he would get angry and walk out. The only way i could communicate with him was through text message."
"I booked a night away for his birthday in June 2021 at a hotel. He went out to see his friends for a drink, but he decided to get drunk that day even though we had our hotel booked. I had to pick him up on the way to the hotel, he was really drunk, started being nasty to me as i was driving, calling me names, ugly, and saying he would go and find another woman.
He was being reckless, grabbing the steering wheel as i was driving."
"We were having a nice time listening to music and talking, then his mood switched, he got really angry and aggressive, he came at me shouting, calling me names and then he grabbed my hair and wouldn't let go, he said he was going to kill me and bury me. I was so scared and upset but he wouldn't stop, i thought he was going to kill me."
"Someone called reception, they knocked the door but he made me say i was ok, i wasnt."
"He sexually abused me several times that night and acted like nothing had happened"
"I hated him for what he had done to me, but i was so scared i didnt know what to do. The relationship broke down over the next few weeks and i wanted him out of my house. I told my sister what had been happening and she told me to make him leave. Weeks later he did leave, I went to the police and reported all the abuse i suffered through the year that i was with him."
"I have been receiving support from Safe link since this happened. I moved house for a fresh start and worked on myself and making my kids have a better life. I should have never put up with all the abuse he put me through. I gave him too many chances hoping he would change, but he didn't."
"If someone treats you badly, no matter how much you love them, they don't deserve to be in your life. Women need to speak up more about the abuse they are going through."
Anon recevied support from Next Link Domestic Abuse Services who then referred her to their other support service Safe Link.
Anon says she benefited from support from her cousin and her sister at the time.
We have chosen to post her anonymously for safety purposes.
If you or someone you know of are experiencing signs of domestic abuse contact Next Link Domestic Abuse Services or call 999 if you are in immediate danger.
Domestic abuse and support line - 0800 4700 280
Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:30pm, Sat 9:30am-1pm.
